Being Comfortable with Uncomfortable | Creating Change
Many people come to therapy because they want something to change; change in a relationship, change in how they feel, or change in how they look at life for example. Yet, when we set out to make changes we freeze, feel overwhelmed with panic or run from where we actually want to go out of fear. We then become hesitant to facilitate movement, or resistant to engage in the actions required which makes sense because it can be so incredibly uncomfortable to do things differently. I don’t know about you but choosing to be uncomfortable is not high on my priority list each day, or ever for that matter but change does not come from keeping things the same (seems obvious right?!) it comes from doing things differently, so we must embrace the journey of change and embrace being uncomfortable.
Do Things Differently: A good way to gauge what changes to make is to look at the things that are keeping us stuck. What are the patterns we do over and over again? Once you can determine what you do the same, you can start making shifts in doing it different.
Embrace the Journey: There are many things you can to while on your journey of change. Some things might make it feel more manageable (self-care) some things will help you not feel so overwhelmed (write about it, share how you are feeling with others) and other things will help you listen to your needs and be able to tend to them along the way (set aside time to check-in with yourself). These items will help build confidence and remind you that you are capable of doing things different.
Embrace being uncomfortable: We live in a world where things are so accessible it’s easy to equate being happy to being comfortable. If my legs are tired I can take the elevator, if I don’t want to have a tough conversation I can send a text message. Having accessibility is not necessarily a bad thing but I do think it has lead us to a misconstrued notion that feeling uncomfortable means something is wrong. Embracing discomfort is a sign that you are one step close to your goal. You are recognizing growth and expanding your limits.
Making a change is going to feel awkward so ask yourself this; how comfortable are you with choosing to be uncomfortable?
“Discomfort brings engagement and change. Discomfort means you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.”
— Seth Godin
Written by Sonja Kromroy, MA LPC