Gratitude: Say Thank You

Whether it is the recent holiday or constantly begging my toddler to “Say thank you,” I have gratitude on my brain. The week of Thanksgiving, I told someone, “I am thankful for you,” and it resulted in a surprising exchange. I was taken aback by how something so simple had such a positive impact on our interaction. I immediately thought of how many employees express not knowing how much their company valued them until they submitted their resignation and then received a caring, heartfelt going away celebration. Is there an unspoken rule in our culture that we don’t need to tell the people around us how grateful we are for their contributions to our lives? If so, it doesn’t make any sense to me.

In Chapman’s The 5 love languages, he describes words of affirmation as one way people speak and understand emotional love; expressing gratitude is one of the many ways we can give loved ones words of affirmation. Telling someone how much they mean to you can breathe life into that relationship. If you are thinking, “My [partner, mom, etc.] knows how much I love them; I shouldn’t need to say it,” I am challenging you to make it explicit. Even if they do know, it will not hurt to remind them of their value in your life. Odds are, doing so will only strengthen your connection.

If better relationships with others is not enough to convince you, would a better relationship with yourself seal the deal? One 2012 study found that grateful people are more likely to take better care of themselves via more frequent exercise and regular check-ups with their doctor (Allemand, Hill, & Roberts, 2013). Robert Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has found that gratitude also increases happiness and reduces depression via many studies on the link between gratitude and wellness. The reasons to be appreciative of the people and good things in our lives are seemingly endless. Please take a moment today to tell someone thank you, you’ll be thankful that you did.

 

Written by Alexis Anttila, MA, LAMFT

 

References

Allemand, M., Hill, P., & Roberts, B. (2013). Examining the pathways between gratitude and self-rated physical health across adulthood. Personality and Individual Differences, 54(1): 92-96. doi: 10.1016/j.paid.2012.08.011

Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing.

 

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