Valentine’s Day | A Blog About Love

Considering that yesterday was Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love. Because isn’t that what many of us are looking for, whether from our parents, our partner, or our friends? Take a moment first though, to consider what love is; I mean, how do you know if you are loved? We all have different cues that we are looking for that provide signal to us that we matter to someone else. But what’s universal is that knowing we have significance, whether to one single person, or more globally, is what, for many, provides reinforcement to continue “adulting,” if you will. After all, “adulting” is hard!

Love could be considered as experiencing a closeness with another person; a developed intimacy that innately implies trust. Too many people struggle with perceiving a lack of this in their life. If this is you, I encourage you to consider the value to being vulnerable with others. It is an incredibly scary thing to open yourself up to others. Fear of judgement, rejection, or the inability of others to relate may keep you from sharing your authentic self. Unfortunately, this worry may in turn feel like a coldness or an overdeveloped sense of privacy, which persistently keeps you at arm’s length from others; this is a lonely place. When we are our truest self, we create the most optimal environment for connecting with others in a meaningful way, and leading to us feeling accepted, valuable, and LOVED.

While perhaps I have diverted from my original intent to revel in the warmth and coziness that feeling loved brings, I encourage you to consider how you seek love with those in your life. Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable with those closest to you? Do you live authentically and have you sought to find yourself so that you know your truest self? I encourage you to take the journey. As the age old saying goes, “you can’t love others until you learn to love yourself.”

Sending you love today and every day!

Written by Lauren Robbins, MS, LPCC, LADC