Silence | Leaving Space for Healing
Silence is actually quite an effective tool in the therapeutic space. It allows for thinking, processing, and noticing. Conversation can easily divert us from the true issue; continuing to talk about it, or around it, rather, aids in avoiding the hard stuff. Silence forces us to sit with ourselves; this is sometimes the most difficult part in all of it. Healing takes place in the quiet space in between. When the thoughts turn over and over after language has given them weight, when you leave your session and one specific part of that day’s experience continues to resonate in your mind, or when you lay your head down to rest and choose to turn off the TV, close the computer, or put your phone on silent for the night – that silence that sometimes feels suffocating – that is the place of repair and renewal.
Has anyone ever asked you if you like yourself? What would you say? Does it catch you off-guard? Would it surprise you that many people pause only for a moment when asked this question, and then whisper, “No.” And this pause isn’t so much to consider the question, but to decide if honesty will provide benefit or alienation. Silence is scary when you don’t like yourself; it’s uncomfortable to be with someone you don’t care for, even more so when it’s yourself.
While it’s true, we do live in a hurried community where there is often pride found in how many things you can fit into your day, and a busy schedule is frequently perceived as equivalent to popularity, purpose, or drive, this mentality leaves no space for learning; learning to love yourself and to heal from whatever stories color your past. Consider that this encouragement of constant busyness is really just a way to avoid, justified by our societal norms.
What if all that constant go-go-go was really just a way to divert the space in between? That space where we have to be with who we are and perhaps become mindful of the aches and pains, both physical and emotional that persist, is silence. Silence inevitably causes a slowing, of our breath, our body, our being. Silence is a tool we already posses. Sometimes it is the most painful tool, but it works; it leaves space for healing and growth. Breathe into your s i l e n c e .
Written by Lauren Robbins, MS, LPCC, LADC